The Story Behind "The Bell"...

What's in a name?  Well, in my life certain names definitely make me think of things immediately.  For instance, the name Charlie instantly makes me feel happy, safe, loved and secure.  The name Sullivan makes me feel complete, needed, happy and fun. The name Amber makes me think loyalty and golden.  The name Leah makes me think of laughing and good times.  My list could go on and on.  As much as a name can draw up feelings in a person, even more powerful for me, is a nickname.  Anyone who knows me, knows I love nicknames.  My son's name is Sullivan Charles Robinson, but he is also known as, "Sully", "Sullysaurus", "Boss", "Saurus" and "my little".  I have had nicknames throughout my life.  I love them.  Probably the most used nickname for me came from my Dad.  He calls me "Petey".  I love it.  When I hear that it makes me feel like a kid again.  It makes me feel loved and treasured.  So, naturally I have always wanted Charlie to have a special nickname for me.  Throughout our married years together, he has come up with several, but none of them have been perfect and none have seemed to stick. 

This brings me to the purpose of my blog.  Finally, in April 2009, a nickname from Charlie stuck.  As most of you know, Charlie calls me "Bell".  Several people have asked why.  Here is the reason.  For our 5th Anniversary I got the sweetest card ever.  I am going to quote Charlie directly because he wrote it so beautifully.  As proud as I am of my nickname, I am equally as proud of my husband and the way he is able to articulate his feelings.  Here is what I read - (starting in the middle of the card)....

"...I love sharing these things with you.  There are many reasons why Augusta is such a special place to me. The course is absolutely beautiful.  It's unabashedly southern. Everything about the place screams sweet tea and peach cobbler. The more you are around it the more you appreciate how special it really is. The course is challenging but if you make the right calls it can be extremely rewarding.  The greens are lightening fast and to succeed you really have to know all of the little quirks and unique facets of each one.  Holes 11, 12 and 13 make up what's known as "Amen Corner" and every year they play a significant role in the outcome of the tournament. Number 12 is perhaps the most famous hole on the course. It's a picturesque Par 3 over water with Hogan's Bridge off to the left. To get through 12 you have to contend with swirling winds, Rae's creek and a pin tucked precariously behind a bunker.  It is the ultimate challenge that every golfer dreams about. At Augusta National each of the holes is named after a shrub or tree that is found on the grounds. Number 12 is known as "Golden Bell". Since a lot of the things that make #12 the best remind me of you, for our anniversary this year I am giving you a nickname that will stick.  I LOVE YOU BELL! - C"

So, that's it.  That is why I am "The Bell" as Charlie says.  I have had many anniversary gifts that I have loved....trips away together, flowers, jewelry, etc, but this was the very best anniversary gift ever.  Nothing beats the unbelievably sweet cards that Charlie always writes to me and a nickname that lets me know he adores me every time I hear it. 

Charlie, I love you. Thank you for this nickname. I will treasure it always and I couldn't be happier to be your Bell. In the words of a musical genius, Mr. Ben..."I am, I am, I am the luckiest."

 Love, Bell

Jelly Crackers

Well, it's about time this day has come.  I guess every mother has their own breaking point when they simply say, "Yep, I am officially DONE!".  Mine came last night, Monday, December 13th.  Sullivan has been such an easy child in so many manners: sleeping through the night, naps and potty training - for which I am oh so thankful, BUT eating is a whole other issue for him. 

The term picky eater doesn't even begin to touch how picky he is.  He eats the same 5 foods every single day.  He loves refried beans, chips and salsa and until the last week seemed to love my chicken pot pie.  So, these were the two things he ate for dinner EVERY single night.  We just alternated them.  I felt pretty good about these things, seeing as there are vegetables and protein there.  Last night he decided he was NOT going to eat the pot pie.  I was in tears, he was in tears and the whole night was ruined - over 4 bites of chicken pot pie.  When I thought about this I realized what nonsense it has become.  A small, cute, smart two and a half year old was ruling our whole evening and determining how much we dreaded, enjoyed or suffered each and every night at dinner.  And THAT was this mama's breaking point.  Right then and there I told Charlie, "I am done with this."  Little Sullivan no longer will have the power to upset me this bad.

Skip ahead to tonight.  I had all day to plan it.  From now on for dinner he will be offered something to eat and if he doesn't want it, that's ok, but nothing else will be offered.  Tonight we had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  When Sullivan woke up from his nap, I started hyping up this "wonderful" meal I had in store for us.  Charlie and I were just so excited we couldn't stand it.  Ha!  Major sarcasm there.  Sullivan really likes crackers, so instead of calling it a sandwich, I told him we would be having "Jelly Crackers" for dinner.  So, I let him help me make these "crackers".  I cut the crust off of the bread, put everyones on their own plates and we all sat down at the table.  I wish so bad I had a video of Charlie and I taking bites of our tiny sandwiches and simply RAVING over how very delicious they in fact were.  Sullivan started off pretty happy.  He actually picked up the sandwich and looked it over.  (This was HUGE for him that he even touched it).....

As Charlie and I took big bites and went absolutely crazy about how yummy they were, he just laughed and laughed.  Twice he even put the bread to his mouth.  I went insane clapping and bragging on him for that.  I know this may sound a bit much, but with Sullivan I had to make a big deal out of these things, because well, to him they are a very big deal.  We all sat there for awhile and finally I think Charlie couldn't stand sitting there anymore. :)  So, Charlie and I went into the living room, sat by the fire and turned the TV off.  Sullivan was told he could get up once he took a bite of his sandwich.  He decided he would rather sit for an hour and a half.  He sat bored out of his mind, pushing his plate back and forth and mainly away from him the whole time.  For anything was better than actually eating the sandwich right?!?! 

As an hour and a half had passed I said to Charlie, "I am racking my brain to think of SOMETHING that I could use to make him want to eat."  Then it hit me!  There is a game that his Aunt Aimee recently let him play online.  It has a dog and a fan and he LOVES the fan.  The "FAN" was my answer!!!  I opened up the computer, pulled the game up, let him play it a little and then....HE TOOK A BITE!!  I was so, so, so happy!  I jumped up, danced around, high-fived him and bragged until he took another bite.  In total he took 5 bites in 2 hours.  I realize this is completely insane and that most mothers are probably shaking their heads, completely baffled.  But, for this mom, Sullivan's mom, this was a victory.  It was a small victory, but it was a victory, and THAT is all that mattered. 

So, tonight was major for us.  My dear little Saurus - please know this....you are very stubborn.  This your parents definitely know.  We love this about you.  We hope and pray that we can direct this stubbornness in the right way so that it will benefit you throughout your life.  We hope this means that you will always go with your gut and do what you think is right.  Being a leader and not a follower is a very good thing.  BUT, you must also know this.  You get that stubbornness very, very honest.  Your daddy is very much this way and well your mommy is more stubborn than she really cares to admit.  I love you, you little firecracker, and you my son have met your match in your mommy.  I will hold out 2 whole hours if it means you try a new food.  You may find this annoying and even mean, but it is quite the contrary.  This is but a small thing, but please realize that I will ALWAYS be on your side, and will always do what I think is best for you.  You may not realize it now, but one day you will see that NOTHING will keep me from doing anything I can to keep you safe, happy and healthy. You may be stubborn, but I gotcha beat little guy!

 In battle "Jelly Crackers", mommy won.

Little Moments...

So, have you ever expreienced a moment so sweet, so special, so unreal that you just want to bottle it up?  You just want to be able to rewind the moment and watch it over and over, just to know that it was real and weren't dreaming? 

I had one of those tonight.  While pregnant with Sullivan, I heard the song "Rainbow Connection" and instantly fell in love with it.  I decided this would be my special song with my first baby boy.  Since we came home from the hospital, the two of us have spent countless hours rocking in the big, comfy chair in his room, with me singing this song to him.  As he grew, when he was upset, I could sing this to him and he would instantly calm down.

Fast forward two and a half years.  It's a cold December night.  He is all jammied up, his favorite pillow in hand and his blankie wrapped around him.  Once again, we are sitting in that big, comfy chair rocking before bed.  Like always, I am singing our song to him.  Suddenly I hear a sweet, little voice singing along with me.  I had to stop for a moment to realize that my little boy, no longer a baby, is singing our song.  He knows the words.  I guess it never dawned on me that all those times I have sang to him, he was taking it all in.  Those moments didn't only impact me, they affected him, too.  I then started singing slowly and he would fill in the blanks for me. 

Oh my precious son.  There are moments in life that simply take your breath away.  I have had a great life and had several of these moments.  One was the moment I became Katie Robinson. Another was seeing two pink lines on a pregnancy test.  Another was the moment I met Sullivan Charles and touched his sweet face for the first time.  This moment will be added to my list.  It definitely makes my top five best moments ever. 

I know that as he grows I will experience more very sweet moments with him.  Sullivan, thank you so much for this memory.  It will forever be stored in the deepest, safest place in my heart.  Someday when I am sad, down and blue, I will only have to think of this and will feel happy. 
Fast forward many years later and I see myself dancing with my grown son at his wedding to "Rainbow Connection" and at that moment, I will think of this cold December night when one little saurus made his mommy's heart and soul warm and happy.

I may have other babies and they will have their own song, but Sullivan, this song is ours and only ours.  I will never sing it to another, ever.

"....someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection."